To Live
by Libra Sorceress
Summary: The light in her eyes died... the same day she did. What does it take? What does it take to warm a heart that shouldn't even be beating? Kagome doesn't even care. No one else does... right? xXFinallyCompleteXx
1. Prologue: Life

**Prologue: Life**

Beeeeeeeeeep!

"Clear!" Thump.

Beeeeeeeeeep!

"Clear!" Thump.

Beeeeeeeeeep!

"Clear!" Thump.

Her limbs jerked uselessly at the joints, her eyes staring, without seeing, at the roof of the vehicle. Her face was pale, her lips blue, and her large, chocolate eyes empty and wide open. Her wet hair slapped the table like strands of seaweed, midnight black against the almost iridescent white of her face. Her long eyelashes were tipped with drops of water, and her clothes were soaked. The wet shirt clung to her frail body, and the navy jeans were baggy around her slim legs. The veins stood stark against the paleness of her face, the blue matching the unhealthy sheen of her lips. Her skin was cold.

This girl had drowned.

Beeeeeeeeeep!

"Clear!" Thump.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

She gasped in a great, shuddering breath, sitting bolt upright on the table, her large brown orbs blinking in confusion. Colour flooded back to her face, and she sat, panting and swaying slightly, shivering from the cold within her. She looked around frantically, a terrified expression on her face.

"Where… where are they?" she choked out. "Where are they?!"

"Ssh, Miss," a Doctor soothed her. "It's ok. Could you tell us your name?"

"Kagome," she told him, her eyes still blinking frantically. "Kagome Higurashi."

"Well, Kagome," the Doctor said soothingly, resting a comforting hand on her forearm. "You can relax. You're safe now."

Kagome stared at him, bewilderment written in her face. "No, I'm not," she said frankly. "I should be dead. I died."

And that was it. That was the day the light in her eyes dimmed... and went out.

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Aaaaaaaand I'm back. Again, I'm going to write a (hopefully) heartwrenching and angsty piece, but it's not going to follow the same pattern as before! Have no fear!

Please enjoy, and let me know what you think!

Libra Sorceress xx


	2. To Fight

**Chapter 1 – To Fight**

"Looking good Kagome," Koga winked as he strode past her into the hall.

She narrowed her eyes in his direction. How dare he!

"Koga," she called, her voice sugary sweet, "Could you practice with me today?" she blinked her big eyes at him.

Koga licked his lips, appraising her lean, toughened body. "Sure thing babe," he called, selecting a sparring rod from the rack. "I'll go easy on you."

Kagome also picked up a weapon, and stood facing her opponent. The two stared at each other, Koga with expectant confidence, Kagome with no expression.

Until she walked forwards and thrust the stick into his stomach, making him bend over as the air was forced from his body.

Kagome brought the heavy stick up and whacked it against his lower back. Koga let out a howl of pain and staggered forwards, his face scrunched with the sheer intensity of it.

Then, without warning, he brought up his own sparring rod and swept it down to her ankles.

She had expected this. With expert movements she leapt backwards, landing on one hand and flipping herself back onto her feet effortlessly. She brought her stick down on his shoulder. Hard.

And heard the bone crack.

Watching him emotionlessly, Kagome arced the rod down to his feet and yanked his ankles out from under him.

Koga landed hard on the floor, his breathing laboured and his face red, tears staining his icy blue eyes.

"Shit, Kagome," he panted. "You didn't have to fucking kill me! This was a practice session!"

She shrugged and turned to walk out. Going out the door, she paused, and dropped her sparring tool. Turning around, she walked to where Koga was on the ground, his body tensed in pain. She knelt beside him, and put her lips very close to his ear. So close he could smell her sweet breath, and the scent of it made the hairs raise on the back of his neck. The girl was trouble.

"And Koga," she whispered to him. "If you ever, ever, swear at me ever again, I _will_ kill you. Consider it a warning. You got off lightly today."

Turning smoothly, she rose from her crouch and walked out of the hall.

…

She spent only a few minutes in the shower, soaping her body and washing her hair. She exited the glass cubicle, wrapping herself in a soft white towel.

She looked into the mirror. Big, dark eyes stared at her from a pale orb. Soft pink lips curled into a smirk. Her long hair was tousled around her shoulders.

She didn't like what she saw. This was the face of someone who deserved life. She had stolen it.

Kagome began to walk out of the bathroom, but a sound made her pause. There, in the bedroom. Someone was waiting for her.

Taking a shallow breath, she slowly picked up a tiny knife from where it lay by the door. You can never be careful enough.

And, in one swift movement, she had cranked open the bathroom door and threw the knife. It cartwheeled through the air with a deadly accuracy, moving closer and closer…

And hit the wall.

"You missed," a calm voice observed in a detached tone. "You need to work on your aim."

Kagome crossed her arms, fully aware she was only wearing a towel. "Don't you know it's impolite to enter a lady's room without permission?"

"I see no lady," Sesshomaru said, his eyes, two chips of golden ore, meeting her chocolate orbs.

"What do you want Sesshomaru?" she asked bluntly.

"Koga." He answered in one word, imitating her irritated tone.

She didn't bat an eyelid. "What about Koga?"

"You damn near crippled him! He's out of action until that shoulder heals!"

"So? I always thought he was a bit of an arse. He deserved it."

"What did he do?"

"He thought he could beat me. And he made inappropriate comments about my appearance."

"That's what people generally do, Kagome," Sesshomaru told her, his voice taking on a hint of exasperation. "It means he likes you."

"I don't want him to like me."

"Well, then turn him down when he asks you out. Don't half-murder him as a message."

"That's the way I chose to deal with the situation. You don't like it?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't."

"Well, that's your problem."

"If it's my problem, it's your problem too," he said, and stood, his eyes flashing dangerously. "You are too reckless, Kagome! You beat up half the demons here without so much as turning a hair!"

"Well, excuse me if I'm better than everyone else!"

"You are not Kagome!" he roared. "You are like everyone else here! Only you are more irresponsible, thoughtless, cold-hearted and careless!"

She was unimpressed. "Cold-hearted? Coming from you, Sesshomaru?"

He took a step towards her, his dangerous eyes smoldering with power and anger. A dangerous combination.

"You are on your last warning, Kagome Higurashi," he threatened. "One more step in the wrong direction and I will fight you myself. That is not a battle you would win."

She huffed and crossed her arms, looking away childishly.

"Do not overestimate yourself, child," he said. "Just remember: if you have to leave here, you have nowhere else to go."

He swept majestically from the room.

Kagome waited until she was sure he had gone, then she took the towel from her body and hurled it at the door with a sound of disgust.

Arrogant demon! Just because she was not as strong as he was, just because she took matters into her own hands, did not mean that she was wrong.

Woodenly, she walked over and picked up the towel, and hung it on the back of the door.

…

"Must you?" Sesshomaru asked, his voice heavy with contempt.

The figure crossed its arms. "Keh."

"You do realise, of course, that I am in charge here?"

"Duh! Why d'you think I came running here instead of any other place?! As if I would willingly spend time under anyone else's rule! Thing is, even though you're an arrogant bastard, you're my brother, so you have to take me in, and I can just about trust you not to kill me."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. And we're half brothers."

"No, I'm pretty damn sure, Sesshomaru. We both need to be alive for this. And I don't have anywhere else to go."

Sesshomaru sighed and rubbed his temples. It was a good thing his hair was already grey.

"All right," he relented, "But on one condition."

"Yeah?"

"Stay out of trouble. I run a pretty neat little organisation here, and I don't want you getting in the way."

"Feh. For a revered and feared gang leader, you're amazingly OCD about the way things run."

"It's how I've avoided being caught all this time. Will you agree to accept me as your superior while you're here?"

"Hell no!"

"I didn't think so," Sesshomaru groaned. "That would have made this whole thing so much easier."

The man in red started for the door. "My old room?" he asked cheerfully, hand on the door handle.

Sesshomaru was snapped out of his musing. "No! That room is occupied. Take the one across from it."

"Who's in my room?"

"Your former accommodations," Sesshomaru corrected, "And I would very much prefer it if you would stay well away from her."

"Why?"

"I have enough problems with Kagome as it is," said the older demon delicately.

"Sounds like this wench needs her head screwing on right."

"There is nothing wrong with the way she is," said Sesshomaru irritably, "But her methods are far from what you would call… conventional."

"Keh."

"I'll see you at dinner," said Sesshomaru, clearly dismissing the other man.

He was just about to walk out the room, when he was stopped with his hand on the door handle.

"And little brother?" Sesshomaru called. "Please don't start any fights. I don't want to have to spend this whole time cleaning up after your mess again." He looked down at his desk, clearly dismissing the man in red.

"Arrogant bastard," Inuyasha muttered, flinging the door open and striding out of the room.


	3. To Dream

**Chapter 2 – To Dream**

_She could see the light above the water. It was right up there, so close, she could almost reach it. She tried to swim up, tried to move, but the light kept moving further and further away. She could feel the weight of her clothes pulling on her body, pulling her down, down, further into the water. Slowly, sluggishly, she brought her hand up to her face. It was absent of the scars that marked the now worn appendage. It was pale, the fingers slim and smooth. It was the hand she had had as a fifteen year old. She looked down at her body frantically. She was wearing a wet white shirt, ghosting around her in the greenish half-light, and dark blue jeans. Her heart thudded with memory. This was the day she had died. And all the time the light was fading. She struggled upwards in vain, but now stiff hands snatched at her ankles. Looking down, she let out a strangled yelping sound._

_Mama. Papa. Jii-chan. Souta…_

_They stared at her, their eyes ghostly wide, their hands clutching at her as she sank. _

_She was sinking, deeper and deeper, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't move, and all the time they stared at her with the eyes of the dead…_

"Shit, wench, wake up! You'll wake the whole damn building at that rate!"

Kagome shot up in bed, panting, her body drenched and glistening with sweat. Her hair was mussed, her eyes were wide, her face was pale, and her skin was flushed.

More importantly, _who the hell was in her room?!_

She turned slowly, her arm snaking down to below her pillow, to grasp the hilt of the knife she always kept there.

In one smooth, fast motion, she whipped around, the weapon secure in her hand.

No one was there.

…

"In a bad mood this morning, Higurashi?" Yura drawled as she stalked past.

"Bite me," Kagome growled.

She was followed by the sound of Yura's laughter down the hall.

Continuing on her stormy way, she threw open the door to Sesshomaru's office.

"Tell me you have a job for me," she half-yelled at him.

He cocked an elegant eyebrow. "In a bad mood?"

"Don't push me," she snapped. "I had a hard night, and I need a job to take my mind off of it."

He rose gracefully, and walked to stand in front of her. he ran his eyes across her body.

"Have you eaten this morning, Kagome?" he asked suddenly, causing her to stop short.

She mentally counted backwards in her head. No, not this morning… not last night, either…

When was the last time she had had a proper meal?

"Who cares?" she spat out. "It's not like it matters.

"I care, Kagome," Sesshomaru cut her off. "I cannot use you if you are starving yourself. Your health must come before whatever vendetta you have for yourself."

"My health is fine," she ground out.

"I think not. You get plenty of exercise, and drink plenty of water, but you are not emotionally or physically healthy."

"What the fuck, Sesshomaru?" she demanded between gritted teeth.

He ignored her. "You are confined to the building and without training for two weeks," he said.

She stared at him in shock. What the…?

He looked at her, a mildly surprised expression on his face. "Did you want to say something?"

"Yeah, I did!" she screeched, striding forwards. "What-"

"This conversation is over," he told her solidly.

"You can't just-"

"Oh, I think you'll find I can," he looked at her angry face, and his features softened. Slightly. Maybe. "Eat proper food, read books, act like a slob, and we'll see how you are in two weeks."

"But-"

"Did you want me to extend your sentence, Higurashi?" he asked her, dropping his face to his paperwork again.

She stood there, dumbfounded. For a whole three seconds.

"Fine," she spat. And she turned, and stomped out the room.

…

Inuyasha was just tucking into a massive breakfast when she came storming into the room. He could easily smell her anger and annoyance, but underneath that…

Pain.

"Hey," he said as she walked past.

She paused, and turned, confusion in her eyes.

"Hey?" she said, with some trepidation. Then a light dawned. "Oh! You woke me up last night!"

"Uh… yeah, that was me," he said.

"Well… thanks, I guess," she said.

"Keh," he snorted. "You were screaming. I couldn't sleep."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah."

They sat in silence for a moment. Then he asked, "So… what's the problem? You smell pissed."

"I am," she said. "It's Sesshomaru. He's basically put me in solitary confinement for two weeks."

"You need it," Inuyasha said without preamble. "You're hungry, and tired, and underweight."

She stood, her eyes spitting fire. "I don't need to take advice from you!"

"Oh, sit down," he said irritably. "I'm not gonna force feed ya. Besides, I hate Sesshomaru too."

"Really?" she asked, sitting in spite of herself. "Why?"

"He's my half-brother," Inuyasha snorted. "And he looks like a girl."

Kagome laughed.

"Hey!" he said suspiciously. "Whatcha laughing at?!"

"You… hate… he's effeminate!" she giggled.

He raised an eyebrow. "As if I'd like him anyway. Bastard's got a big head."

"That's true," she admitted.

And she grinned at him. "Where do they keep the food around this place?"

…

Sesshomaru stood, watching them from high above.

She was smiling. For the first time since… he couldn't remember when. And his baby brother was actually engaging in conversation.

It was good for them.

He turned towards a photo on the wall. A woman, with black hair and crimson eyes, stared out of it.

_You were right, Kagura,_ he thought to himself. _I should have looked after him more. I'm going to set it right now. If only you were still around to see it._

Sesshomaru sighed, and turned back to the couple below him.

He hoped they would be happy.

And that Kagome would kick Inuyasha's arse when she was allowed to train again.

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Ok, guys, to be frank, I'm not amazingly fond of this story. So I'm gonna finish it, and it's not gonna be a very long one. Maybe... six chapters?

But thanks to everyone who has read/reviewed! Sorry I can't do it justice.

Libra Sorceress xx


	4. To Feel

**Chapter 3 – To Feel**

Sesshomaru stood in his office. Looking, as ever, at the image of the one whom he had loved on the wall.

Naraku had killed her.

And then Inuyasha had killed Naraku.

And Sesshomaru bore him a resentment for that. A deep bitterness, that he was not the one who had avenged his lover's death.

So why was he trying to help his brother now?

Because Kagura had wanted him to. She had always made him feel guilty that he had paid no attention to his surviving family.

Only she could make him feel that guilty.

* * *

Inuyasha knocked hesitantly on Kagome's door.

No answer.

He knocked again.

Again, there was no answer.

Frowning, he pushed against the door gently. It was open.

His eyes widened at the site he was greeted with.

There was a knife on the bedside table, with a thin trickle of blood running down the side.

Instantly on the alert, he put his hand against the sword which he always carried at his side.

And pushed the bathroom door open carefully.

She was sitting under the stream of water. Fully clothed, eyes open, unseeing.

He backed out slowly, slowly, and closed the door.

And ran to Sesshomaru.

* * *

"What the hell?!" he blasted furiously. "What the hell is up with that girl?! What are you hiding from me?!"

Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow.

"Hello to you too, little brother."

"Cut the crap," Inuyasha hissed furiously. "What-"

"If you would stop throwing a temper tantrum, perhaps I would be obliged to share with you," Sesshomaru commented drily.

Inuyasha stomped over and sat in the chair, crossing his arms defiantly.

Sesshomaru glided over to his desk, taking a seat, before steepling his fingers and looking at his younger brother sternly.

"What I am going to tell you will require some consideration on your part," he said mildly. "Something I doubt you possess."

Inuyasha began to rise from his chair in anger. "Why you-"

"Shut up, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru told him patiently.

He waited until his younger brother was seated, still fuming, before continuing.

"Kagome drowned."

That stopped Inuyasha short.

But Sesshomaru continued.

"It was, indirectly, because of her that the rest of her family is dead to," he went on blankly. "If not for her… enthusiasm… to go out in the middle of a storm, then they would not have begun hydroplaning, and would not have been thrown into the lake. Kagome was the only one of her family to survive the accident. And she feels that she does not deserve life. She feels she has been granted a curse, to live while everyone she loves is dead. And so, when she begins to feel happy, she punishes herself."

Inuyasha sank back into his chair. "Punishes herself…" he mumbled. "Why…?"

"Because she is breathing," said Sesshomaru bluntly.

Inuyasha remained silent for a few more seconds.

Then he rose.

"Thanks, Sesshomaru," he said.

And he strode out the door.

* * *

She was crying, keening softly, into her hands, clasped over her mouth.

The door opened.

"Go away!" she choked.

A body joined her beneath the cold stream.

"No," a voice said firmly.

Inuyasha.

He held her.

"Get out!" she screamed, pushing weakly at his body, struggling in his hold.

"No," he said.

Her struggles died. She merely sat, stiffly. Not responding to his touch.

"Kagome," he said. "Give me your hand."

She shook her head.

He reached over and pulled it from her.

"I can do this without your cooperation," he told her, "But I'd much rather you paid attention."

She sullenly looked at him.

He took her hand, and placed it over the centre of her chest.

"Feel that?" he whispered.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

"That's your heart, Kagome," he murmured into her ear. "It's beating, telling you you're alive."

He took her other hand, and placed it over his chest.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

"Feel that? That's my heart too," he said to her. "They're beating together."

She shook her head.

He raised an eyebrow. "And if my heart can beat with yours, doesn't that mean you've done something right?"

She shook her head again.

"You're still alive, Kagome. They wouldn't want you to punish yourself, would they? Not for living. No one could ever begrudge you that. Your heart is beating. You are living."

And he kissed her.

And Kagome's heart began to heal.

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And that's where it finishes. Sorry guys, but it just wasn't fair to continuously bore you with uninspired dribble.

Still, I hope it was ok.

Sorry!

Libra Sorceress xx


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